01 November 2009
Remembering the little things to remember myself
It's been a crazy week and I can't believe it's Friday. You know things are hectic when you go to bed on Monday night and then suddenly realise the week is over. It's easy to forget yourself. My husband and I moved to New Zealand 10 years ago and after a few years abroad in Vietnam and Japan we realised that New Zealand was calling us back. We missed the green and the fresh air, and the more relaxed lifestyle that doesn't happen in Japan and Saigon where life is quite full-on most of the time. Time to come home and start living at a healthy pace again. However...
A couple of days ago I read and commented on David Miller's article about raising chickens and it got me thinking about how, in the craziness of re-settling it's like my husband and I have forgotten why we came back. We spend our days rushing round to work, on errands, getting the shopping in, doing washing (Well, OK, he does most of the washing.) and pretty much occupying our time with thinking about the next jobs we've got to do. So, what the hell? I mean, we're living a Japanese style life right here in New Zealand.
I have this old photo of a tree covering our room in a guest house in Malaysia. A severe storm had passed through during the night and when we woke up, we had to remove this bloody tree that had been strewn across our entrance in order to get out. After all the hard work, we settled in to breakfast at a local cafe and then on our way back into the room we noticed a hornet on the wall outside. We only noticed it because we could actually hear it crunching. Loudly! We both stood there mesmerised by this hornet crunching on the wall and then spitting it up in order to make its nest. After about 5 minutes of this we decided to get comfortable. We pulled a couple of stools out of the room and sat ther for no less than 45 minutes watching this little thing work. It's the kind of situation that you emerge from feeling like you've had a nap. You are aware that your blood pressure has gone down and there is a clarity in you thinking.
Why did I write this? Well, that's where I want to be. Back in that mindspace where time is elastic and the smallest things encompass the brain to the point that you realise all this stuff we occupy ourselves with is not necessarily what we need. I want to regain a clarity of thought and a relaxed feeling about life. I know me. I know I get this from meditation or creativity.
This afternoon I'm leaving my computer and all the stuff in the house behind to take some closeup photos. Then, when I get home, I'm going to find that photo of the guesthouse room with the tree covering it to remind me that what I can't see is the little hornet that taught me how to return to myself.