I'm struggling with the need for money versus the need to feed my creative soul. I don't think I'm special. Everyone who creates in some way knows this dichotomy. Although I'm a wee bit spooked by swinging on the trapeze without a safety harness I'm about to leave the edge and do it. I've got three more weeks on the teaching contract I've taken on and then it's sink or swim. The teaching safety net is there, but it's a long way down and to be honest I'm hanging on tightly to the bar. I want to be up here. I love swinging through the air and kicking out this story and that. I love the idea of letting my stories support my life. I love the idea of doing something on my own terms without a ringmaster.
But there are people, creative ones, who've been teaching me how to hold on. I'm not sure if they even know who they are or what lessons they have taught me. Some of them are bloggers or colleagues or writers or photographers who I've been in touch with for a long time. Some of them are family or friends. Some of them are people I've met recently and have maybe even only had the briefest of interactions with. Many of them I have never met in person.
Is it in our nature to look for ourselves in others? When I find someone who holds the same things dear that I do and they are doing what I want to do, I'm inspired. I'm lifted.
She is doing this thing?
Then I can do this thing!
Lately there have been many of these people. I don't know where they are coming from or how they are finding me (or am I finding them?) but I'm extremely grateful. I'll thank each of these people in the little ways that I can, but until I can get round to all of my amazing teachers, thank you. Thank you for your the trapeze lessons that you don't even know you've taught.