tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20875085.post5172856869430671151..comments2023-07-01T22:35:59.401+09:00Comments on Shantiwallah: Auckland's West Coast Beachesshantiwallahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13266680569000109766noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20875085.post-75446339906011912682010-03-26T07:57:21.053+09:002010-03-26T07:57:21.053+09:00Thanks Cheryl and Rebecca.
Cheryl, I've left ...Thanks Cheryl and Rebecca. <br />Cheryl, I've left a note on your blog but thank you for the award:)<br /><br />Rebecca, I'm about to get on a plane, but I'll be checking out your blog later. Looks good!shantiwallahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13266680569000109766noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20875085.post-83551663789372336512010-03-25T21:08:24.646+09:002010-03-25T21:08:24.646+09:00the extra details including directions, where to e...the extra details including directions, where to eat & walking tracks are a nice touch. great pics too!Rebeccahttp://rebeccakinsella.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20875085.post-25955948942253328342010-03-18T03:27:19.094+09:002010-03-18T03:27:19.094+09:00What great pictures!! And I really loved reading ...What great pictures!! And I really loved reading about all of it, too. <br /><br />By the way, I'm passing on a blogging award to you. It's the "Over the Top" badge that I got from another blogger. I wrote about it in my latest post so I hope this is okay with you. I love your blog so I hope you'll copy and paste the badge that is in the sidebar of my blog to both of yours.<br /><br />Keep writing...and keep taking photos. I am traveling vicariously through you, you know!Cheryl Kohanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04021319020150945676noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20875085.post-56189508306240189332010-03-17T07:58:24.819+09:002010-03-17T07:58:24.819+09:00Thanks for the feedback. I'm definitely going ...Thanks for the feedback. I'm definitely going to shift that info stuff out of the way! Sarah, it's funny you say that about me starting off "very descriptive and flowy" before getting all guidebooky. The beginning is more how I think, but I was trying to push myself to write something a bit more practical. In fact, I'd written the whole things and then went back and changed the beginning to be what it is now because it didn't feel enough like me. I might experiment in future with writing full-on "guide-booky" or not at all and see what the difference is.shantiwallahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13266680569000109766noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20875085.post-20961836768565872182010-03-17T05:08:31.733+09:002010-03-17T05:08:31.733+09:00That's definitely a super informative piece! ...That's definitely a super informative piece! I agree with Heather --the photos were a really nice touch. They helped illustrate what you were talking about, and also helped to break up a very information-heavy article. <br /><br />Some suggestions from me (and take them with a grain of salt, always): <br /><br />You started off very descriptive and flowy, especially in that opening paragraph about the twisting roads, but at some point, the tone switched into something a bit more "guidebook-y." There's nothing wrong with either style per se, but I thought what you started off with had a bit more personality. I like personality! <br /><br />Nonetheless, I enjoyed reading about what you had to say... it definitely makes me want to go there!Sarahhttp://sarahpark.matadoru.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20875085.post-105810678924575552010-03-17T04:13:40.687+09:002010-03-17T04:13:40.687+09:00I agree about rearranging the last paragraph. Put...I agree about rearranging the last paragraph. Putting the safety information more towards the beginning. I thoroughly enjoyed your article. I want to see and experience those beaches after reading it. The beauty is just breathtaking.Annhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07524878248746427258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20875085.post-83547491349712940032010-03-16T11:28:20.004+09:002010-03-16T11:28:20.004+09:00Thanks Heather. Wow, you're quick! I think you...Thanks Heather. Wow, you're quick! I think you're right about the first part being distracting. I really put that there so my usual readers weren't wondering what they heck I was on about (ie. It's not part of the article). But they can figure that out later, right? <br /><br />And with regards to tightening up the writing, yup, next time I'll definitely sleep on it first.shantiwallahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13266680569000109766noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20875085.post-68815228207975000722010-03-16T11:04:11.184+09:002010-03-16T11:04:11.184+09:00Interesting to learn about Auckland! I really enjo...Interesting to learn about Auckland! I really enjoyed how you used the photos to accentuate the text. <br /><br />Some suggestions: <br /><br />- Maybe considering putting the info in your first paragraph at the end instead. Talking about something else you've written doesn't necessarily draw the reader in, but once they've been drawn in and have enjoyed one of your pieces, they may be ready to read another. Also, having links in your first sentence may drive your readers to click on the links and navigate away from reading the rest of your post. <br />- I think you could tighten up on the writing. At one point you slip into "command" mode with "Make a postcard here." It doesn't necessarily flow with the rest of the paragraph. <br /><br />All the best! Looking forward to reading more of your work!Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15605934897579283649noreply@blogger.com